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lirik lagu carson shmyr - seat 09

well, here i am again
on the bathroom floor
what a surprise

i guess it’s painful to imagine
that i’m not the main character
in this book that i contrived
while i was staring at the mirror
is it insanity or is it g~nius to sink into my thoughts?
and to let a half empty bottle decide whether or not
i’m worth it

and yet
if i had a choice then i would stop
but i can’t find the switch to turn my emotions off
so i will sink in deep and let this current drag me under
because it’s much harder to drown than it is to be encumbered

now i know what they’ll say
about he man inside the mirror
how he was good, and gold, and the product of his postulations and fears
but what they don’t see is the crack that’s creeping up from the corner
suddenly it’s got a name and i’m stuck here on doctor’s orders

and i just think it’s funny
no, i just think it’s sad

the idea of being average

when i’m the only one who’s mad

so you’ve got me
in this chair, now what?
i’m a statistic?
what comes next?
if we go the way that you see it?
i’ll take the pills and throw them out the window
is that a solution?
or is it a trial run of giving up and seeing if i can do it?
because i can’t

i need the drugs so i can function
but then i lose myself amidst the drums of daily consumption
how can we get off the train if it never leaves at the station?
because a passenger in seat o~nine was acting drunk and brazen
no way that’s just my brain and it’s been flirting with the line between psychotic and methodic
i can’t seem to find the correct combination of s.s.r.i’s to ease the burden that’s been burning on my mind

and i just think it’s funny

no, i just think it’s sad
the idea of being average

when i’m the only one who’s mad

when i take a step back and realize what i’ve created
the bed i’ve wove of pain and torment that i must lay in
i have this awful feeling that subsides with medication
but when i lose the hurt, i lose the love for my creations
well i speak in tongue, my words are written into phrases
and there’s no hiding from the message that my writing’s saying
even a line left blank shows meaning in it’s empty sp~ces
somehow through all this time i’ve become the patient

and i don’t think it’s funny

i don’t think at all

i’m just the empty sp~ces

in perpetual free fall

- lirik lagu carson shmyr

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