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lirik lagu brother elio - the crown of thorns

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[verse 1]

you were staring at the loft again
like there was something written up there i couldn’t see
the blue light flashed on the counter, 3 am
a novel from elio, forwarded to me
he said he stepped aside so we could be doves
said he saw the text you sent, the mystical i love you
he wished us a prosper life, said it was worth it
to break his own heart to witness your good riddance
and i felt the nausеa rise in my throat
reading the lovе that you actually wrote to him

[chorus]

but i kept it silent, i kept the ache
i buried the phone and i silenced the riot
‘cause i hate you for wanting him, i hate that it’s true
but fifteen years is heavy, and i can’t lose you
so i’ll be the witch who swallows the sofa
i’ll stand in the doorway and hold up the roof
i’m staying
yeah, i’m staying

[verse 2]
it took a few months for the color to come back
to your face, to the way that you look at me now
i told myself god puts the strain in the sludge
just to test if we’re holy, to test out the vow
and now there is lili, asleep in her crib
she’s the thunder of our life, she’s the breath in my rib
and you look so happy, playing the role model
i almost forgot about the hole in your heart

[bridge]

then i saw you last monday, at the back of that bar
i didn’t walk in, i just watched from the car
you were talking to another closeted man
and i saw how you leaned in, i saw how you sighed
and you cleaned his mouth with your tongue
you touched his ass, i saw it all clear
but i put the car in reverse and i got out of there
because i was eight when my dad moved away
and i lived out of suitcases, begging to stay
i won’t do that to lili, i won’t let her break
i won’t let her live with my parents’ mistake
so you can have secrets, and you can have men
just as long as you come back to this house in the end
i can take it
i promise, i can take it
[outro]

just wash your mouth out before you come in
i don’t want to mix my genes with your sl~ts
i won’t ask where you go, i won’t ask where you’ve been
we’re a family, kyle
we’re steady
i saw you
i’m ready
just don’t let her know


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