lirik lagu boris karloff - the hunting of the snark
“just the place for a snark!” the bellman cried
as he landed his crew with care;
supporting each man on the top of the tide
by a finger entwined in his hair
“just the place for a snark! i have said it twice:
that alone should encourage the crew
just the place for a snark! i have said it thrice:
what i tell you three times is true.”
the crew was complete: it included a boots—
a maker of bonnets and hoods—
a barrister, brought to arrange their disputes—
and a broker, to value their goods
a billiard~marker, whose sk!ll was immense
might perhaps have won more than his share—
but a banker, engaged at enormous expense
had the whole of their cash in his care
there was also a beaver, that paced on the deck
or would sit making lace in the bow:
and had often (the bellman said) saved them from wreck
though none of the sailors knew how
there was one who was famed for the number of things
he forgot when he entered the ship:
his umbrella, his watch, all his jewels and rings
and the clothes he had bought for the trip
he had forty~two boxes, all carefully packed
with his name painted clearly on each:
but, since he omitted to mention the fact
they were all left behind on the beach
the loss of his clothes hardly mattered, because
he had seven coats on when he came
with three pair of boots—but the worst of it was
he had wholly forgotten his name
he would answer to “hi!” or to any loud cry
such as “fry me!” or “fritter my wig!”
to “what~you~may~call~um!” or “what~was~his~name!”
but especially “thing~um~a~jig!”
while, for those who preferred a more forcible word
he had different names from these:
his intimate friends called him “candle~ends,”
and his enemies “toasted~cheese.”
“his form is ungainly—his intellect small—”
(so the bellman would often remark)
“but his courage is perfect! and that, after all
is the thing that one needs with a snark.”
he would joke with hænas, returning their stare
with an impudent wag of the head:
and he once went a walk, paw~in~paw, with a bear
“just to keep up its spirits,” he said
he came as a baker: but owned, when too late—
and it drove the poor bellman half~mad—
he could only bake bride~cake—for which, i may state
no materials were to be had
the last of the crew needs especial remark
though he looked an incredible dunce:
he had just one idea—but, that one being “snark,”
the good bellman engaged him at once
he came as a butcher: but gravely declared
when the ship had been sailing a week
he could only k!ll beavers. the bellman looked scared
and was almost too frightened to speak:
but at length he explained, in a tremulous tone
there was only one beaver on board;
and that was a tame one he had of his own
whose death would be deeply deplored
the beaver, who happened to hear the remark
protested, with tears in its eyes
that not even the rapture of hunting the snark
could atone for that dismal surprise!
it strongly advised that the butcher should be
conveyed in a separate ship:
but the bellman declared that would never agree
with the plans he had made for the trip:
navigation was always a difficult art
though with only one ship and one bell:
and he feared he must really decline, for his part
undertaking another as well
the beaver’s best course was, no doubt, to procure
a second~hand dagger~proof coat—
so the baker advised it—and next, to insure
its life in some office of note:
this the banker suggested, and offered for hire
(on moderate terms), or for sale
two excellent policies, one against fire
and one against damage from hail
yet still, ever after that sorrowful day
whenever the butcher was by
the beaver kept looking the opposite way
and appeared unaccountably shy
the bellman himself they all praised to the skies—
such a carriage, such ease and such grace!
such solemnity, too! one could see he was wise
the moment one looked in his face!
he had bought a large map representing the sea
without the least vestige of land:
and the crew were much pleased when they found it to be
a map they could all understand
“what’s the good of mercator’s north poles and equators
tropics, zones, and meridian lines?”
so the bellman would cry: and the crew would reply
“they are merely conventional signs!
“other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes!
but we’ve got our brave captain to thank
(so the crew would protest) “that he’s bought us the best—
a perfect and absolute blank!”
this was charming, no doubt; but they shortly found out
that the captain they trusted so well
had only one notion for crossing the ocean
and that was to tingle his bell
he was thoughtful and grave—but the orders he gave
were enough to bewilder a crew
when he cried “steer to starboard, but keep her head larboard!”
what on earth was the helmsman to do?
then the bowsprit got mixed with the rudder sometimes:
a thing, as the bellman remarked
that frequently happens in tropical climes
when a vessel is, so to speak, “snarked.”
but the princ~p~l failing occurred in the sailing
and the bellman, perplexed and distressed
said he had hoped, at least, when the wind blew due east
that the ship would not travel due west!
but the danger was past—they had landed at last
with their boxes, portmanteaus, and bags:
yet at first sight the crew were not pleased with the view
which consisted of chasms and crags
the bellman perceived that their spirits were low
and repeated in musical tone
some jokes he had kept for a season of woe—
but the crew would do nothing but groan
he served out some grog with a liberal hand
and bade them sit down on the beach:
and they could not but own that their captain looked grand
as he stood and delivered his speech
“friends, romans, and countrymen, lend me your ears!”
(they were all of them fond of quotations:
so they drank to his health, and they gave him three cheers
while he served out additional rations)
“we have sailed many months, we have sailed many weeks
(four weeks to the month you may mark)
but never as yet (’tis your captain who speaks)
have we caught the least glimpse of a snark!
“we have sailed many weeks, we have sailed many days
(seven days to the week i allow)
but a snark, on the which we might lovingly gaze
we have never beheld till now!
“come, listen, my men, while i tell you again
the five unmistakable marks
by which you may know, wheresoever you go
the warranted genuine snarks
“let us take them in order. the first is the taste
which is meagre and hollow, but crisp:
like a coat that is rather too tight in the waist
with a flavour of will~o’~the~wisp
“its habit of getting up late you’ll agree
that it carries too far, when i say
that it frequently breakfasts at five~o’clock tea
and dines on the following day
“the third is its slowness in taking a jest
should you happen to venture on one
it will sigh like a thing that is deeply distressed:
and it always looks grave at a pun
“the fourth is its fondness for bathing~machines
which it constantly carries about
and believes that they add to the beauty of scenes—
a sentiment open to doubt
“the fifth is ambition. it next will be right
to describe each particular batch:
distinguishing those that have feathers, and bite
from those that have whiskers, and scratch
“for, although common snarks do no manner of harm
yet, i feel it my duty to say
some are boojums—” the bellman broke off in alarm
for the baker had fainted away
they roused him with m~ffins—they roused him with ice—
they roused him with mustard and cress—
they roused him with jam and judicious advice—
they set him conundrums to guess
when at length he sat up and was able to speak
his sad story he offered to tell;
and the bellman cried “silence! not even a shriek!”
and excitedly tingled his bell
there was silence supreme! not a shriek, not a scream
scarcely even a howl or a groan
as the man they called “ho!” told his story of woe
in an antediluvian tone
“my father and mother were honest, though poor—”
“skip all that!” cried the bellman in haste
“if it once becomes dark, there’s no chance of a snark—
we have hardly a minute to waste!”
“i skip forty years,” said the baker, in tears
“and proceed without further remark
to the day when you took me aboard of your ship
to help you in hunting the snark
“a dear uncle of mine (after whom i was named)
remarked, when i bade him farewell—”
“oh, skip your dear uncle!” the bellman exclaimed
as he angrily tingled his bell
“he remarked to me then,” said that mildest of men
“‘if your snark be a snark, that is right:
fetch it home by all means—you may serve it with greens
and it’s handy for striking a light
“‘you may seek it with thimbles—and seek it with care;
you may hunt it with forks and hope;
you may threaten its life with a railway~share;
you may charm it with smiles and soap—'”
(“that’s exactly the method,” the bellman bold
in a hasty parenthesis cried
“that’s exactly the way i have always been told
that the capture of snarks should be tried!”)
“‘but oh, beamish nephew, beware of the day
if your snark be a boojum! for then
you will softly and suddenly vanish away
and never be met with again!’
“it is this, it is this that oppresses my soul
when i think of my uncle’s last words:
and my heart is like nothing so much as a bowl
brimming over with quivering curds!
“it is this, it is this—” “we have had that before!”
the bellman indignantly said
and the baker replied “let me say it once more
it is this, it is this that i dread!
“i engage with the snark—every night after dark—
in a dreamy delirious fight:
i serve it with greens in those shadowy scenes
and i use it for striking a light:
“but if ever i meet with a boojum, that day
in a moment (of this i am sure)
i shall softly and suddenly vanish away—
and the notion i cannot endure!”
the bellman looked uffish, and wrinkled his brow
“if only you’d spoken before!
it’s excessively awkward to mention it now
with the snark, so to speak, at the door!
“we should all of us grieve, as you well may believe
if you never were met with again—
but surely, my man, when the voyage began
you might have suggested it then?
“it’s excessively awkward to mention it now—
as i think i’ve already remarked.”
and the man they called “hi!” replied, with a sigh
“i informed you the day we embarked
“you may charge me with murder—or want of sense—
(we are all of us weak at times):
but the slightest approach to a false pretence
was never among my crimes!
“i said it in hebrew—i said it in dutch—
i said it in german and greek:
but i wholly forgot (and it vexes me much)
that english is what you speak!”
“’tis a pitiful tale,” said the bellman, whose face
had grown longer at every word:
“but, now that you’ve stated the whole of your case
more debate would be simply absurd
“the rest of my speech” (he explained to his men)
“you shall hear when i’ve leisure to speak it
but the snark is at hand, let me tell you again!
’tis your glorious duty to seek it!
“to seek it with thimbles, to seek it with care;
to pursue it with forks and hope;
to threaten its life with a railway~share;
to charm it with smiles and soap!
“for the snark’s a peculiar creature, that won’t
be caught in a commonplace way
do all that you know, and try all that you don’t:
not a chance must be wasted to~day!
“for england expects—i forbear to proceed:
’tis a maxim tremendous, but trite:
and you’d best be unpacking the things that you need
to rig yourselves out for the fight.”
then the banker endorsed a blank check (which he crossed)
and changed his loose silver for notes
the baker with care combed his whiskers and hair
and shook the dust out of his coats
the boots and the broker were sharpening a spade—
each working the grindstone in turn:
but the beaver went on making lace, and displayed
no interest in the concern:
though the barrister tried to appeal to its pride
and vainly proceeded to cite
a number of cases, in which making laces
had been proved an infringement of right
the maker of bonnets ferociously planned
a novel arrangement of bows:
while the billiard~marker with quivering hand
was chalking the tip of his nose
but the butcher turned nervous, and dressed himself fine
with yellow kid gloves and a ruff—
said he felt it exactly like going to dine
which the bellman declared was all “stuff.”
“introduce me, now there’s a good fellow,” he said
“if we happen to meet it together!”
and the bellman, sagaciously nodding his head
said “that must depend on the weather.”
the beaver went simply galumphing about
at seeing the butcher so shy:
and even the baker, though stupid and stout
made an effort to wink with one eye
“be a man!” said the bellman in wrath, as he heard
the butcher beginning to sob
“should we meet with a jubjub, that desperate bird
we shall need all our strength for the job!”
they sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
they pursued it with forks and hope;
they threatened its life with a railway~share;
they charmed it with smiles and soap
then the butcher contrived an ingenious plan
for making a separate sally;
and had fixed on a spot unfrequented by man
a dismal and desolate valley
but the very same plan to the beaver occurred:
it had chosen the very same place:
yet neither betrayed, by a sign or a word
the disgust that appeared in his face
each thought he was thinking of nothing but “snark”
and the glorious work of the day;
and each tried to pretend that he did not remark
that the other was going that way
but the valley grew narrow and narrower still
and the evening got darker and colder
till (merely from nervousness, not from good will)
they marched along shoulder to shoulder
then a scream, shrill and high, rent the shuddering sky
and they knew that some danger was near:
the beaver turned pale to the tip of its tail
and even the butcher felt queer
he thought of his childhood, left far far behind—
that blissful and innocent state—
the sound so exactly recalled to his mind
a pencil that squeaks on a slate!
“’tis the voice of the jubjub!” he suddenly cried
(this man, that they used to call “dunce.”)
“as the bellman would tell you,” he added with pride
“i have uttered that sentiment once
“’tis the note of the jubjub! keep count, i entreat;
you will find i have told it you twice
tis the song of the jubjub! the proof is complete
if only i’ve stated it thrice.”
the beaver had counted with scrupulous care
attending to every word:
but it fairly lost heart, and outgrabe in despair
when the third repetition occurred
it felt that, in spite of all possible pains
it had somehow contrived to lose count
and the only thing now was to rack its poor brains
by reckoning up the amount
“two added to one—if that could but be done,”
it said, “with one’s fingers and thumbs!”
recollecting with tears how, in earlier years
it had taken no pains with its sums
“the thing can be done,” said the butcher, “i think
the thing must be done, i am sure
the thing shall be done! bring me paper and ink
the best there is time to procure.”
the beaver brought paper, portfolio, pens
and ink in unfailing supplies:
while strange creepy creatures came out of their dens
and watched them with wondering eyes
so engrossed was the butcher, he heeded them not
as he wrote with a pen in each hand
and explained all the while in a popular style
which the beaver could well understand
“taking three as the subject to reason about—
a convenient number to state—
we add seven, and ten, and then multiply out
by one thousand diminished by eight
“the result we proceed to divide, as you see
by nine hundred and ninety and two:
then subtract seventeen, and the answer must be
exactly and perfectly true
“the method employed i would gladly explain
while i have it so clear in my head
if i had but the time and you had but the brain—
but much yet remains to be said
“in one moment i’ve seen what has hitherto been
enveloped in absolute mystery
and without extra charge i will give you at large
a lesson in natural history.”
in his genial way he proceeded to say
(forgetting all laws of propriety
and that giving instruction, without introduction
would have caused quite a thrill in society)
“as to temper the jubjub’s a desperate bird
since it lives in perpetual passion:
its taste in costume is entirely absurd—
it is ages ahead of the fashion:
“but it knows any friend it has met once before:
it never will look at a bribe:
and in charity~meetings it stands at the door
and collects—though it does not subscribe
“its flavour when cooked is more exquisite far
than mutton, or oysters, or eggs:
(some think it keeps best in an ivory jar
and some, in mahogany kegs:)
“you boil it in sawdust: you salt it in glue:
you condense it with locusts and tape:
still keeping one princ~p~l object in view—
to preserve its symmetrical shape.”
the butcher would gladly have talked till next day
but he felt that the lesson must end
and he wept with delight in attempting to say
he considered the beaver his friend
while the beaver confessed, with affectionate looks
more eloquent even than tears
it had learned in ten minutes far more than all books
would have taught it in seventy years
they returned hand~in~hand, and the bellman, unmanned
(for a moment) with n0ble emotion
said “this amply repays all the wearisome days
we have spent on the billowy ocean!”
such friends, as the beaver and butcher became
have seldom if ever been known;
in winter or summer, ’twas always the same—
you could never meet either alone
and when quarrels arose—as one frequently finds
quarrels will, spite of every endeavour—
the song of the jubjub recurred to their minds
and cemented their friendship for ever!
they sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
they pursued it with forks and hope;
they threatened its life with a railway~share;
they charmed it with smiles and soap
but the barrister, weary of proving in vain
that the beaver’s lace~making was wrong
fell asleep, and in dreams saw the creature quite plain
that his fancy had dwelt on so long
he dreamed that he stood in a shadowy court
where the snark, with a glass in its eye
dressed in gown, bands, and wig, was defending a pig
on the charge of deserting its sty
the witnesses proved, without error or flaw
that the sty was deserted when found:
and the judge kept explaining the state of the law
in a soft under~current of sound
the indictment had never been clearly expressed
and it seemed that the snark had begun
and had spoken three hours, before any one guessed
what the pig was supposed to have done
the jury had each formed a different view
(long before the indictment was read)
and they all spoke at once, so that none of them knew
one word that the others had said
“you must know—” said the judge: but the snark exclaimed “f~dg~!”
that statute is obsolete quite!
let me tell you, my friends, the whole question depends
on an ancient manorial right
“in the matter of treason the pig would appear
to have aided, but scarcely abetted:
while the charge of insolvency fails, it is clear
if you grant the plea ‘never indebted.’
“the fact of desertion i will not dispute;
but its guilt, as i trust, is removed
(so far as relates to the costs of this suit)
by the alibi which has been proved
“my poor client’s fate now depends on your votes.”
here the speaker sat down in his place
and directed the judge to refer to his notes
and briefly to sum up the case
but the judge said he never had summed up before;
so the snark undertook it instead
and summed it so well that it came to far more
than the witnesses ever had said!
when the verdict was called for, the jury declined
as the word was so puzzling to spell;
but they ventured to hope that the snark wouldn’t mind
undertaking that duty as well
so the snark found the verdict, although, as it owned
it was spent with the toils of the day:
when it said the word “guilty!” the jury all groaned
and some of them fainted away
then the snark pr~nounced sentence, the judge being quite
too nervous to utter a word:
when it rose to its feet, there was silence like night
and the fall of a pin might be heard
“transportation for life” was the sentence it gave
“and then to be fined forty pound.”
the jury all cheered, though the judge said he feared
that the phrase was not legally sound
but their wild exultation was suddenly checked
when the jailer informed them, with tears
such a sentence would have not the slightest effect
as the pig had been dead for some years
the judge left the court, looking deeply disgusted:
but the snark, though a little aghast
as the lawyer to whom the defence was intrusted
went bellowing on to the last
thus the barrister dreamed, while the bellowing seemed
to grow every moment more clear:
till he woke to the knell of a furious bell
which the bellman rang close at his ear
they sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
they pursued it with forks and hope;
they threatened its life with a railway~share;
they charmed it with smiles and soap
and the banker, inspired with a courage so new
it was matter for general remark
rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
in his zeal to discover the snark
but while he was seeking with thimbles and care
a bandersn~tch swiftly drew nigh
and grabbed at the banker, who shrieked in despair
for he knew it was useless to fly
he offered large discount—he offered a cheque
(drawn “to bearer”) for seven~pounds~ten:
but the bandersn~tch merely extended its neck
and grabbed at the banker again
without rest or pause—while those frumious jaws
went savagely snapping around—
he skipped and he hopped, and he floundered and flopped
till fainting he fell to the ground
the bandersn~tch fled as the others appeared
led on by that fear~stricken yell:
and the bellman remarked “it is just as i feared!”
and solemnly tolled on his bell
he was black in the face, and they scarcely could trace
the least likeness to what he had been:
while so great was his fright that his waistcoat turned white—
a wonderful thing to be seen!
to the horror of all who were present that day
he uprose in full evening dress
and with senseless grimaces endeavoured to say
what his tongue could no longer express
down he sank in a chair—ran his hands through his hair—
and chanted in mimsiest tones
words whose utter inanity proved his insanity
while he rattled a couple of bones
“leave him here to his fate—it is getting so late!”
the bellman exclaimed in a fright
“we have lost half the day. any further delay
and we sha’n’t catch a snark before night!”
they sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
they pursued it with forks and hope;
they threatened its life with a railway~share;
they charmed it with smiles and soap
they shuddered to think that the chase might fail
and the beaver, excited at last
went bounding along on the tip of its tail
for the daylight was nearly past
“there is thingumbob shouting!” the bellman said
“he is shouting like mad, only hark!
he is waving his hands, he is wagging his head
he has certainly found a snark!”
they gazed in delight, while the butcher exclaimed
“he was always a desperate wag!”
they beheld him—their baker—their hero unnamed—
on the top of a neighbouring crag
erect and sublime, for one moment of time
in the next, that wild figure they saw
(as if stung by a spasm) plunge into a chasm
while they waited and listened in awe
“it’s a snark!” was the sound that first came to their ears
and seemed almost too good to be true
then followed a torrent of laughter and cheers:
then the ominous words “it’s a boo—”
then, silence. some fancied they heard in the air
a weary and wandering sigh
that sounded like “~jum!” but the others declare
it was only a breeze that went by
they hunted till darkness came on, but they found
not a b~tton, or feather, or mark
by which they could tell that they stood on the ground
where the baker had met with the snark
in the midst of the word he was trying to say
in the midst of his laughter and glee
he had softly and suddenly vanished away—
for the snark was a boojum, you see
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