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lirik lagu bill wailey - self-reflection

[verse]
looked at myself in the mirror because i ain’t okay
heard rumors about me of people saying i’m gay
been sad and miserable that i’m pushing y’all away
but i guess i got nothing to do but just pray
lost friends and my soulmates, sh~t ain’t easy
thought i healed from past trauma, not completely
some sh~t from my past that i think about deeply
now i can’t express myself a lot more freely
i know i’ll be myself again, but i just need time
just like i need to take my time with every rhyme
when the time is right, i’ll be back in my prime
the fact that i’m depressed should be a crime
if she’s the one for me, then i’ll talk to god
just for confirmation, been talking to him alot
need him to give me courage to shoot my shot
need him also to not turn me into someone i’m not
my heart says one thing, my mind says another
dear god, dear god, why do i gotta suffer?
turns out i’m really scared to lose my mother
i lost my father when i was much younger
using girls for my own benefit is just not right
i think about this deeply and in context every night
used to f~ck girls and have s~x out of spite
seems like the demons inside of me really want a fight
been losin’ sleep lately because i over think
i really don’t want to treat girls as a sneaky link
just buy me vodka, pour me some shots to drink
and yes, i’m willing to take a dangerous risk
sometimes i wonder if n~ggas are there for me in need
need clarification so that a n~gga can proceed
hurt me so much that i had no choice but cheat
made myself feel like i’m now for the street
just lost my brother man, now i feel so miserable
and n~ggas will never ever understand my struggle
to deal with this pain and suffering, if it’s possible
even nearly did things that would get me in trouble
the n~gga died in a car accident, f~ck that truck
that collided with his car man, n~gga you f~cking suck
at f~cking driving man, or maybe it was just bad luck
but i’ll miss my n~gga man, let me just keep it a buck
told this girl it’s over since i can’t love her no more
or at least i can’t love her like i did once before
but she needs to know that my heart is very sore
don’t want her to think that now i’m a f~cking bore
gon’ miss the fun times i used to have with my bro
he even helped me how to work the pen like a pro
it’s tough to come to terms that you have to go
to a better place, man i can’t even see you tomorrow
i guess i’ll have to accept things the way they are
i guess i’ll just have to continue being a superstar
i’ll miss you man, me and you used to go bar for bar
i guess you’ll see me from above, you’ll always be a star

- lirik lagu bill wailey

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