lirik lagu bernie allen - awol from fat camp
[intro – judy collins]
violent hash-smokers shook a chocolate machine
involved in an eating scene
[travie mccoy]
go ahead and pop your pringles to this one
all the anorexic chicks please remain seated for the duration of this song
you’re hazardous
[verse 1]
my insecurity’s got me tugging at my shirt when the wind picks up
by the way, you gonna eat that?
i’m just a fat b-st-rd that’d love to take the load off your plate
i’m gaining weight, but i’ll blame it on metabolism
f-ck calories!
my weekly salary’s enough to keep my eating habit at stand still
and my stomach’s like a landfill with a never ending maximum capacity
don’t get mad at me when i pick my nose, touching food with the same finger
i’m just waiting for that obese opera singer to hit the right note
them stuffing zingers and twinkies up in my bubble coat
croak this if you wanna
i’m blazing l’s with little keebler elves that love to share their cookie creations
and they don’t struggle with patience, they just keep on working happily
and when i eat all they shit, they don’t get mad at me
but when i start to vomit chocolate chips, they sit and laugh at me
that’s when i stomp ’em like roaches committing blasphemy
all in all, it’s all in fun
all good, burger bun
with three quarter pound patties, fatty acid, and a basket fries
these wise guys at the drive-through got audacity asking me if i want my shit super sized
ah, for now i’m like
[hook]
won’t somebody feed me please
before i’m forced to eat all of these mc’s
on a plate, with a steak and macaroni and cheese
and a cold gl-ss of k-double o-l aid?
(come on!)
[verse 2]
so now, i’m awol from fat camp
i got caught selling kit-kats
this kid ratted me out for a sandwich (eat it, you little b-tch!)
now, i’m flying coach eating chicken wings
with a tom green freddy got fingered type approach to keep the balance
and as far as i recall, i’ve been a glutton
with a major malfunction that cause my jaw to always gnaw something
tell the nurse to bring the burger king, urgently, to room 315
and hurry up, it’s an emergency
diet’s to me are kinda funny when you find yourself hungry cause health food’s consuming all your money
didn’t listen when your conscience told you “eat the bacon!”
now you’re working treadmills till your feet are stankin’
this is for the self righteous vegans that always find something smart to say when they see my -ss eating
i got cannibal traits, every animal get ate
i’ll be down under with the crocodile hunter (g’day mate!)
we grillin alligator steaks, trading plates with aborigines that look at us funny
like “d-mn money, where’d you get these?”
my plate is empty, so it’s like, “back to the states!”
to play tv dinner tag with younger hoes till my hunger grows
then switch to a whole other dish
i’m talking like fried monkey legs [?] to asparagus cheese
come on, really man?
[hook]
[verse 3]
and all i eat is meat, chocolate milk, and dope beats
f-ck ripe vegetables, fresh fruit, and whole wheat
i’m from the new school, my household smells like mildew
from chinese take-out containers for real dude
an academic underachiever, i joined the breakfast club and ate my way to tenth grade
and got an a in lunch, which in turn made me a firm believer
that my only true love is girls, graffiti, music, and nestlé crunch
cause while other kids was in cl-ss stressing they lessons
i was back in the lunch line begging for seconds
flirting with the cashier, remember me from last year?
(boy your hair looks nice today, do you think i could get an extra tootsie roll?)
mission accomplished, operation hoodwinked successful
now back to taunting fat chicks with tongue rings
and i’ll tell you one thing, as long as i’m alive
i’ma live ravenous until the day god himself says it’s hazardous
k!ll the pacifists, and make the pu-pu platter
that consists of crying b-tches dipped in boo-hoo batter
let’s pause for applause cause this kid is too much
until my tummy’s full, i ain’t giving two f-cks
tell the label’s they can keep they silly cash advance
just give me an ’86 renault and a lifetime supply of food stamps
[hook]
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