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lirik lagu benjamin $treet - suicide & trauma

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suicide,suicide,yeah suicide,suicide
has always been a challenge in my life
i always find myself sleeping with a knife
in the night yeah
suicide,suicide,yeah suicide,suicide
has always been a challenge in my life
i always find myself sleeping with a knife

verse 1
i’ve been h~lla phased
i’ve been stressed nonstop
always keep my feelins hidden
hopin’ it’ll stop
i produce fire like a molotov
h~lla focused call me the motherf~ckin
draganov i’ve been traumatized
cause my demons came alive
fake love is the reason
they revived comin’ harder
than the furious five my feelins’
h~lla deep but you can never dive
$treet rep yeah we strive
i lost my heart but i look alive
i came to dominate no
need to ill~strate my
verses they demonstrate
i’m the new government
the head of state
i got a lot on my plate
suicidal thoughts tryna bring me
down like i’m new town in my sorrow
i always drown lord
i’ve been praying for the signs every
struggle inclines i’m praying
for my bloodline to never decline
suicide,suicide,yeah suicide,suicide
has always been a challenge in my life
i always find myself sleeping with a knife
in the night yeah
suicide,suicide,yeah suicide,suicide
has always been a challenge in my life
i always find myself sleeping with a knife
in the night yeah

am i lacking love or is it childhood trauma?
would i be here if it wasn’t
for the prayers from my mama?
cause i grew up in a place
full of altercations and the drama
day by day i slit my wrist cause
i’m tired of the betrayal from
the people that kissed my cheek
just waiting for the urge
to take my life reach
it’s peak never found real happiness
d~mn! what do i seek?
feelin lonely and forsaken might
put the devil on a winnin’ streak
it’s a small world when
the shoe fits and walk
down the road full of depression
and despair(d~mn)
no one to turn to no one to lend an ear
only when you take your life that’s
when they really care(cause)
betrayal resides in ya inner circle
flopped the prayers sorry
lemme pull the draco
this is what i wished for
when i blew the candle f~ck
the world though i sound sentimental
prolly go to h~ll for what i spit
on this instrumental!
suicide,suicide,yeah suicide,suicide
has always been a challenge in my life
i always find myself sleeping with a knife
in the night yeah
suicide,suicide,yeah suicide,suicide
has always been a challenge in my life
i always find myself sleeping with a knife
the night yeah

(outro)
suicide is a tragic reality
in our fallen world
that people experience desperation
to the point where they believe
the best option is to end their own
lives is heartbreaking
to lose a loved to suicide
props a range of questions
and a special kind of grief
but the bible offers hope
both to those who are
considering suicide and
to those who have been
affected by the suicide of
another to those who are
desperate please recognize
that suicide is not the best option
in christ there’s hope also
recognize that you’re not alone
in fact in the bible speaks
of many who’ve felt deep despair
in life solomon in his pursuit
for pleasure,reached a point
where he hated life


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