lirik lagu antix - dear summer
[chorus]
goodbye, goodbye
i hate that word, i wish it were a lie
please know i love you ‘til the day i die
i’ve cried enough for both of us this time
these walls have won, can’t bring you back to life
i hate how i’m supposed to live
my life with you outside, i can’t stop crying
and now you’ve turned into a ghost
you haunt my mind and i can’t stop our world from dying
baby goodbye
[verse 1]
dear summer
i’m so tired, i haven’t slept right in months now
these living conditions are miserable
and baby, all i ever wanna do is kiss you
all i ever wanna do is come home baby
these other inmates are driving me crazy
it’s so loud and when i close my eyes to sleep
all i hear is the sound of the screams of these people
and some of them are so f–king crazy
that i don’t really know how they operate daily
i don’t know if i can call this an existence
something’s lurking in my mind
i hear whispers
i’m in h-ll, when i’m awake
and when i go to sleep i feel demons in my cell
and even when i dream there’s an evil i can tell
that there’s something on the fringes
the tips of these syringes
and when i think about what you must have gone through
i pray to god that he keeps you and loves you
coz i can’t do either of those from where i am baby
it’s like i’m dead and i’m a ghost
to think that you had to bury your dad
i couldn’t be there to hold your hand
i loved him too baby, i know he’s proud watching you now
yeah looking down little lady
remember when they let me go to the hospital
and you told me later you were there behind the gl-ss
i swear that i could feel you but they wouldn’t let me ask
if i could hold you for a second and he was dying in my arms
i never told you, your daddy looked at me and smiled
i never forget that moment
but now it’s like i’m losing you another way
i feel it rolling off your tongue but i refuse to let you say
[chorus]
[verse 2]
dear summer
i haven’t heard from you in a while now, is everything o.k.?
i got the email you sent a couple months ago
i’m glad the music’s going well, i’m glad you’re on your way
i’m glad you found your rhythm and you’re back up on your feet
you never were the type to be accepting of defeat
i sleep, a little easier now you’re doing fine
it puts my soul to rest, takes a little off my mind
don’t worry about me baby, i’m o.k
i think back to that day
when i walked into the bank and didn’t know that i was there
and the gun was in my hand, i didn’t know how it appeared
the lady started screaming so i started screaming too
i woke up two days later with 6 thousand in my shoe
and how i got the money, i don’t really have a clue
i thought you left it for me, like something you would do
i drove myself to rehab and checked myself in there
for the first time in a month that i was seeing crystal clear
remember how many clinics told me i wasn’t eligible?
”too broke”, ”live too far away”
those f–king crooks
and that judge handed down 10 years like what?
like he was giving away detention
and you were in the court with your papers, and your suit
trying to plead the case, baby, like it was everything you know
every fibre of your being, it was you who pulled me through
even though we lost the case, i saw what you would do
i saw you give your blood, work your knuckles to the bone
trying to bring me back but i ain’t never coming home
i’m gone and if i come, i’m coming back a different man
you don’t want this baby, and now i understand
i love you ‘til the day i f–king die
but now, baby, it’s time to say goodbye
[chorus]
[verse 3]
dear summer
i got your letters, i agree with everything you said
i’ll sign the papers, baby you are free
and know that what you do, it’s all ok by me
and even though thinking about you with another man
makes me go wanna insane like i can’t even f–king stand
makes me wanna grab my hair and pull it out my head
then rip open these bars and fly to you again
it’s my fault that i’m here, it’s not on you
so go ahead baby, shine like you do
show this planet what it means to a star
you supported me in here so i’ll support you where you are
but please don’t come and see me coz it shatters up my soul
when you come and i can’t touch you then i have to let you go
i did it in the past but i can’t do it anymore
it cuts me up inside and it shakes me to the core
when you come it’s like i’m me again
and that’s a dangerous thing, coz i can’t be me in here
i got shed my humanity
i gotta become a part of the system, so i can live in the system
so i don’t die in the system
baby i’m tired, ain’t got no more resistance
there ain’t no god in here that wants to listen
so part of me is dead and i’ve acknowledged that he’s missing
so talk to god for me, tell him “lord i say forgive me”
i try to do myself, but i don’t think he ever hears me
he’s muted out by the screams of all these people
a layer of sickness, and of darkness, and of evil
and even though the devil is breathing in my ear
and he wants to keep me cloaked in the servitude of fear
i fear no evil, there’s none of that inside
i feel the goodness in me, so to him
i say goodbye
[chorus]
goodbye, goodbye (9x)
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