lirik lagu allyn louis dubief - failed ignition
i’m back from the dead
returned from a premonition in a dream
leaving you filled with dread
i’m the letter you never wrote but
finally sent a blank fired into an expired relationship
sunk deeper than these words trickling off my lips
bouncing off the walls and finding somewhere small to reside and confide in you
i’ve lied
it’s true
i begin the scar process with superglue
running over these wounds
painting new linеs over things i should never do
anothеr line that reminds me of you jumping out of my skin get me to smoking again until i ignite
and ignore another vision of inner sight of that light growing in the sky until you hear it collide with the earth leaves you with a curse bound by gravity
this habit leaves me
so i pursue it into the adjacent room
apprehend it break it and mend it with the correct words never heard in this pattern of sheep scattered over the green grass covered hill
almost time for another pill
these prescribed
for my manic mind
when i can’t not see dreams
unfolding in my reality
they help my compartmentalization
of these memories i’m taking
and placing on a timeline that’s always changing
my names save me from forgetting i go crazy
when i waste my time looking for ways for others to appreciate me
can you accommodate
date me
take me in and pay for me
lay with me
wake up and repeat while i find new ways to process our fear
maybe that’s all i’m good for and why i’m here
letting letters shout on their way out
this chorus of post divorce
is a taurus charging bullsh~t on divinities credit line
chained to my mind another bullseye
first try
time to get my timing right
learn my phrasing and pacing
without erasing the emotion needed
to push out these newborn thoughts
i’ve bread with dead end questions
post hindsight looking back on that night
you saw me on your screen saying insane sh~t
took too many hits
just left my career
lost my house and knew that was just the start
of my life heading south
needed to take it out on someone
you’re the one that showed up acting all grown up with cameras rolling you took my trolling but i didn’t realize this bridges cost and the tolling adding up because i keep crossing this is costing more than i make in a day especially with me being sick and leaving early
i’m tired of being under the weather
battling the entity titled forever
i can’t beat this b~tches ass better
we both want rest
exhausted by life’s tests
doing what i do and doing it at my best is what i strive for each day
not this mediocre attempt i make
and fail
because times been making me stew over that time i spent in jail
and the years leading up to the moment i lit the torch and dreamt my life’s course was to end in flames
maybe i was right maybe i’m sick of reliving that night
f~ck get it out of my mind leave behind a trail of ashes looking for passes to get permission to take an intermission and put on a new pair of glasses
see me differently what i could be if you give me a chance
i repent for my sins with every glance take this time to take this incantation as a form of resignation from this past life i keep replaying what i was saying when i made you smile i know it’s been a while since i’ve closed with a cliche line that leaves behind a lot of questions they itch and cause a staff infection
brought you to the wrong doctor and proceed to sign off on your lobotomy
this creative cognitive robbery is a lot of me
i’m in my coat sweating through this sixth month sunlight get my directions right and show up every night
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