lirik lagu alec verse sweet pava - sober part 1
every single day it breaks me to pieces
i tasted defeat at the feet of my demons
i’m such a f~cking waste of achievement
i should put this trigger to my brain and just squeeze it
’cause lord i know i ain’t been no saint
but tell me what i did to deserve this pain
tell me what i did to deserve this hurt
when all i ever did was put everybody first
therapist
(and how does that make you feel alec ?)
these days i just don’t feel sh~t
i don’t feel a thing at all
i don’t feel like i exist
that’s why i need my fix
so i can just feel something
how do you dеscribe the word empty
try dеscribe the word nothing
wait, f~ck that
use my name as the definition
write it on my forehead
defective out of commission
i’m sick of it, losing myself
i’m sick of it, check my fingerprints
you’ll see how little the percentage is
i’ve given it my all
i’ve given it my all and so much more
but everybody’s still walking out that door
i’ve given it my all
it’s getting to the point where it’s sad as f~ck
i’ve given it my all but it’s not enough
it’s not enough
the sleeping pills don’t work
the healing pills don’t work
i still feel pain with the pain pills
now those same pills don’t work
if i don’t get a couple percs
i’m ’bout to go berserk
i swear to god n0body can fix this sh~t
not even the church
now tell me what good would a pastor do
except be mad at you
then tell you that you’ve sinned a bunch of times
but i’ve forgiven you
you know they won’t admit it
and god himself has forbid it
but it’s probably still just half
of all the sh~t the priest committed
therapist
(and how does that make~)
ask me one more time how the f~ck i feel
imma f~cking lose my mind
step aside i need the pills
step aside i need the xannies
step aside i need the vicodin
and i’ll be on my way
so i can just get back my life again
you do not give a sh~t
stop pretending, stop lying
’cause to you i’m just a check, b~tch
just a dollar sign
another vacay with the kids
hubby couldn’t be prouder
and all you had to do was ask me
how i feel for an hour
see that’s the problem with pretentious technicalities
you preach insanity and then expect my weekly salary
so tell me who’s the crazy person now b~tch
and yet you think you’re qualified to treat me (sh~t)
i’ve given it my all
i’ve given it my all and so much more
but everybody’s still walking out that door
i’ve given it my all
it’s getting to the point where it’s sad as f~ck
i’ve given it my all but it’s not enough
it’s not enough
man, i came up a long way
just a young n~gga
bullet at my temple
afraid i might pull this trigger
this f~cking anxiety in me
“sobriety”
my demons are calling and sayin’
that they want whatever’s inside of me
imma give it to ’em (h~ll yeah)
imma give ’em all of it
use to be a smooth operator
now it’s the opposite
oh big time sobriety, yeah
i feel it swimmin’ through my veins
i’m afraid i might get the blade
make a slit and let the blood spill out
oh big time sobriety
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