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lirik lagu aburden - part li

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and here’s something i wrote for you my dear
and can you please come home
and help me brace this mystery
that i’ve worked up in my tiny head
and it feels like so long
since i’ve felt the warmth of your hand
or anyone’s for that matter
now answer me this, was it all a lie?
or was i just surrounded by a lot of good lies
the thought what they were saying was the truth
and fountain of youth and i hope that’s true

’cause the only thing i hold close my dear
that our lord and saviour will bring me to sanity
and understandably
and i tried so hard to reopen all my wounds
and bleed them dry so depression could grab that tight hold
around my neck, like that noose i so long for
to set me free from all this mess
but best to forget but that’s what they said

but that’s what i thought
and i once sought salvation in a drug
that was more powerful than your love
considering your drug was once my love
and it’s tough

to face the fact that the fabric that was once my behavior
[?] too far apart
and [?] just like i asked her to
so i try and write something, someone
somehow my fear is real
at least for me to feel
at least for you to feel
and my old friend
and why should you live this life?

this domesticated life
i’ve waited but not undated
the arrival of our lord
and i hated the fact that i’ve made you so frustrated
which left you feeling so unappreciated
that i loved my god more than you
and out of the blue, you left like the flu [?] and [?]
i guess i don’t wanna face the fact
that i’m still missing you

and this was such a big thing that impacted my youth
so i’m writing this for you and if you can hear me now
i want you to know that i still love you the same way i used to
and you took two years from my life
and it felt like it meant nothing to you

just like a stain on your new shirt
and just wash it
but that stain, so dark, so prominent in my vision
which left such a collision
which left me so much grief
and i once had beliefs
but that was before me and you, of course
my old friend


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