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lirik lagu 4 minute sermons - kids

(verse 1)

i would love to have you but who am i kidding/
did i lied to myself in dear future children?/
maybe we were never meant for this lifetime/
or maybe i need to wait until it’s the right time/
i’m not optimistic/
maybe the problem is/
my own fears are the very thing that’s stopping this/
and that is opposite to everything that i want in me/
it’s not what i wanna be or what i wanna see/
sometimes i wonder do i need to summon thee/
courage to not fall apart when i talk about this/
is having you irresponsible if that is possible/
then tell me how having you in anyway optimal/
not saying i don’t want you i’m saying don’t want you/
to have parents who can’t raise you put upon you/
that would haunt you how do i respond to/
these questions that my mind has gone to/

i cry the pain away from the back of the car/
writing late at night with my hat on in the dark/
could this be the end or just growing pains/
between you and me i don’t want you knowing pain/
what if the fear and doubt are the only thing/
or only pain gripping my throat as i try to swallow/
it’s insane to know i’m going down a dark road/
maybe we don’t coincide i’ll only know in time/
only time will tell but i feel is a slow divide/
i can fake it i’m breaking for heavens sake what am i saying/
sometimes i feel not having you would be murder/
did you hear that? i could’ve swore that i heard her!/
these are the voices i hear on this cursed earth/
maybe in time god will show me if i should have kids/
but for now i’ll continue to live inside all this madness/
as i struggle to question my depressing sadness/

(chorus)

i’m sorry but i hope you guys try to hear me out/
i get it cause even i don’t even wanna hear me now/
kids aren’t an easy thing/
kids are scary to me/
it’s one thing to give a ring/
but to care for a new being/
is an overwhelming thought/
i beg you please tell me god/
what am i to do will she refuse to marry/
the more i think about it it’s all the more scary/
the more tearing me apart/
will i ever get married?/

i’m sorry that i’m writing this but it is my heart/
and giving that and talking i can’t tear apart/
kids aren’t an easy thing/
kids are scary to me/
it’s one thing to give a ring/
but to care for a new being/
is an overwhelming thought/
i beg you please tell me god/
what am i to do will she refuse to marry/
the more i think about it its all the more scary/
the more tearing me apart/
will i ever get married?/

(verse 2)

i was just kid when i wanted one of my own/
and that desire is something i will never disown/
if i’m honest thinking of you gets me feeling alone/
then i feel guilty for my thoughts being in that zone/
it’s hard when you feel incompetent/
i wish i felt the opposite/
pretty lonely without you in my life/
they say “man you don’t want a wife”/
i think of having one every day in night/
if you were in my life i wonder what you’d say to me/
lonely feeling like people hang around cause there paid to me/
maybe the purpose of your life is to p-ss it on/
maybe the purpose of mine is to have a son/
guys are just looking for a body to have some fun/
i promise that is not me cause life has taught me/
that i am to be bigger than the possibility of failing which is probably entailing having kids and being a dad who is godly/

you got me maybe fear is just apart of the process/
and failing as a parent is something we must accept/
i hope my best efforts are something to be proud of/
maybe me as a father is what you won’t look down on/
just know i tried despite being wrong some of the time/
when you become a father and feel the pressure to provide/
you’ll connect what i am saying to the fact that i tried/
and not be upset at the mistakes i had in your life/
so before i finish this letter and finally say goodbye/
i want you to that i am proud to call you mine/
time to put this song away into a file i’ll keep for you/
just know your not a mistake your what i wanted/
so until you are born i’ll continue the journey alone/
actually not alone but i prefer to keep that private/
what i want you to see is not just what i want to be/
it’s the pain and struggle and having kids will be one of these/

(chorus)

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