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lirik lagu 3ugene - what am i suppose to do

[intro]
but if i release you then i know the person i gave my love to has truly let go
and i’m scared cause if i lose my heart, then i’ll turn cold and i’ve lost my soul

[verse]
i thought my dreams will unfold
instead my nightmares came true
because the only fear i had was the thought of losing you
but look now that i did girl i’m more than confused
to find the one i spend my life with cause i thought it was you
they say that men shouldn’t cry and they say warriors don’t lose
but latley my eyes have been cloudy and my sky isn’t blue
cause you wеre more than just a lover you wеre my best friend to
girl you were my form of serenity my spirit of muse

as i’m thrown back in time
thought fairytales would come true
standing infront of the pastor as i vow that i do
i don’t know what i could do
like what am i post to do
as i’m crying, screaming, bleeding
punching walls over you
i heard you got a new man
it may be harsh but it’s true
but he will never love you, know u girl the way that i do
wish we can start over new
so i can show and then prove
that i don’t wanna be living if i’m not living with you
now i’m speeding fast through traffic, and i’m trynna hit a wall
hoping that i k!ll my self because i been had lost my heart
so i’m talking to the moon trynna get to where you are
when i look into the sky i see you
cause you are a star

never thought we’ll say good bye
so i’m trynna be that guy
trynna keep a firm composure but i’m broken deep inside
so i try to take a breath then i go to wipe my eyes
then i realize i’m not breathing cause i already have died

from relieving all my stress
from being happy to upset
all i do is overthink
and i stay being depressed
ever since you went away girl my life has been a mess
now i’m blowing up your phone knowing you won’t hit me back

first time that i truly smiled
first time that i wasn’t shy
so you know that imma love you girl until the end of time
your voice was so angelic
girl it was my lullaby
but now i have insomnia and i cannot sleep at night
and now our chapters closed
taking pills to overdose
hoping that my kidney fail
cause i’m drinking on patron
i stay trynna burn myself but the sun has over froze
you know life is like a cage girl when your in love alone

now i live without your scent so i’m bleeding from the nose
sh~t is f~cking with my mental and i hope
it cause a stroke
i’ll put a knife up to my chest
but i don’t have a heart no more
put a gun up to my head and hope the trigger isn’t broke

imma jump into a lake with a brick hoping i can’t float
but a bag over my head in hoping that it makes me choke
they will never understand they just think i do the most
but i really hit rock bottom girl i’m really at my low

now i’m reading your replies
damaging my own d~mn mind
was it ever real to you
or was it always just a lie
now all you see is damage when you look into my eyes
all i ever feel is darkness cause there’s no light in my life
baby tell me why you left
did you really have to go
and i know you think he love you
but i promise you he don’t
even though i am imperfect
i can be the one you want
and there’s no point of denying i really thought you were the one

now instead of seein visions
i see demons that are red
cause the agony you caused
keep me prisoned inside of my head
you say that he treats you better
and i swear that sh~t is dead
i cannot forget the leaving words that you ever said

hoping that this isn’t real
but the pain is all i feel
and it’s hurting so much that i don’t think that i will ever heal
i ain’t even need a gun i ain’t even need a pill
when i been in love before and in the end she left me k!lled

[outro]
why not be stright forward
and tell me what i can do
why do i have to think
what am i suppose to do

- lirik lagu 3ugene

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